About Me
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I started blogging in December 2020 after discovering that my unborn baby would likely be born still. The purpose for my blog was for me to journal about my experience while also informing friends and family about our ever-uncertain situation. Now I see that my blog serves as a source of support for those going through similar situations. Also a resource for outsiders who don’t know how to react or how to be helpful when a friend or family member is faced with the impossible reality that they outlived their own child/children.
I’m not an expert by any means. I’m just a mom who has been through a difficult situation and I’m still learning and healing and trying to navigate my new normal. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints but I still struggle with faith and my relationship with God. I’m forever learning and trying to understand where I stand spiritually. I am by no means a perfect member nor am I a spokesperson for the church. Everything related to the church and the gospel is strictly my own understanding and experience. Nothing I say or do should be taken as a reflection of the Church and its doctrine. I would encourage readers who have questions about the church to click on my hyperlinks throughout my posts. The links will direct you to the Church's official website where you can find reliable information and be connected to Church representatives who can answer your questions.
I have always been inspired to write a blog. My intention was to write about children and their development and how it relates to our ever-changing world. I received a Bachelor's degree in child development so you can say I’m passionate about children and how they grow. However, when I learned about my son’s diagnosis, blogging no longer was a passion about children in general but my son’s story; Stetson's Story and how his short little life impacted our family.
Now I’m a mother of two, my daughter Gerogi lives with me on earth while my son Stetson lives in heaven. I’m just navigating through grief while striving to be a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my children. At times the task is daunting and I’m sure I fail often but, this is exactly the purpose of this blog to demonstrate the real, raw, and sometimes ugly truth of what it's like to live with grief. Perhaps it will help others knowing they’re not alone and perhaps it will help others know how to be a support for someone who is grieving. I just want the world to know Stetson's story because he is worth remembering.
If I live a typical lifespan then approximately 22% of my life is spent being the steward over my children’s childhood (birth-18yrs). That’s it, 22% and unfortunately with Stetson that time was cut dramatically less. All I want is more time. More time to spend with my children, more time to teach them and watch them grow. After losing Stetson I realized now more than ever I do not want to waste the 22% I should have with Georgi . Striving to impact 22% of a person’s life isn’t an easy job nor is it often the most glamorous. Grief just adds another dimension to navigating this stewardship. 22% of my life is 100% of my children’s childhood and I just want to ensure I’m part of it as much as I can be because unfortunately not everyone gets to have a child a full 18yrs. So my hope is that we as parents don’t waste the most important, most fulfilling, and most rewarding 22% of our lives because you never know you may have your children less than that.
